Elaine Hamilton received a lone carrot

While many of my pals are proper girlie girls, my idea of hell is trudging around town on a Saturday browsing in shops simply for pleasure.

The very thought of it brings me out in an uncomfortable sweat. So it’s a sign of my petulance that I’ve still not mastered what should be the ultimate solution – online shopping.

This is embarrassing but I rarely buy anything new and never anything expensive. I wear old baggy favourites until they literally fall apart and, without a shadow of a doubt, I’m officially the worst dressed person in my industry.

I genuinely wish I cared more.buys and sells preloved designer Cheap 2013 mother of the bride gowns online, It’s like my style and self-respect chromosomes are missing, along with my dignity at the numerous black tie charity functions I rock up to in old bridesmaid’s dresses dry cleaned to remove previous pakora stains.

On several occasions, I have been snapped for the Scottish glossy No1 magazine. Their photographer and reporter pick out women of influence and those with striking fashion sense at a given gathering.

On the occasions I do make the editorial cut, it’s because I’m hosting the event and they feel obliged. Everyone else on the page will be named and their outfit source revealed, for example “Matilda, lawyer, wearing peach floaty Alexander McQueen gown with diamante Louboutins”. I get “Cat Harvey,Los Angeles for all ladies Wholesale Womens Long cocktail gowns, Real Radio and Sunday Mail”.

I’m sure the poor girl nearly fainted when I revealed I bought one dress in Goldberg’s, which closed down in 1990. My latest ploy to avoid shops is online grocery shopping. While many people have been doing this for years, I have only recently become a convert.

I still feel guilty about anybody delivering anything to my door. It feels lazy, even though I’m paying for the privilege.

My grasp on technology has never been great and my previous attempt at online groceries resulted in 36 bananas arriving. I thought six in the number box meant quantity of single bananas not bunches – note to all,one of the premier designers of Wholesale Designer Long Wedding Dresses, read the small print.

This time I am now the queen of baby beetroot. Turns out I have no grasp on weight either and a 567g jar is rather large. The two-for-one offer I accepted will provide me with 28 full portions of my five-a-day.Our wedding 2013 Cheap Designer Bridesmaid Dresses great cheap price,

Again, I’m not alone. Classic blunders from some of my listeners included Gina Freeman, whose father-in-law was sent one Brussels sprout.

Elaine Hamilton received a lone carrot, Michelle Moffat ordered lemons for her gin and was sent Cif lemon bleach as an alternative, Mary Crawford got three carrier bags of courgettes, Michele Dinning got 22 Fray Bentos pies, while Lorraine Young’s friend ended up with 10 full heads of broccoli and 108 toilet rolls by mistake.

The delivery drivers must have a right chuckle at some of the errors. The man delivering to Aimee Johnston’s mum told her it would be cheaper buying a cow as he handed over 24 pints of milk.
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